2008 Woodie Awards
Columnist Gives Semester Recap
Our columnist has never been one to mince words and in this installment, he gives a semester recap that may cause readers to question the meaning of existence.
Graig Agop
Issue date: 6/11/08 Section: Column
When people ask me what I do for a living, I tell them I'm an actor. I play a struggling student without family issues, drug problems, eating disorders, or mathematical skills in "Glendale Community College."
I lied, I have an eating disorder, I can't stop eating those damned maple scones. Oh, and I never really got along with my brother and I'm addicted to prescription drugs. There you have it, oh yeah, and I'm a compulsive liar.
I'm not saying I'm the greatest actor but at least I'm not an overactor, like our very own Jose "Shermie" Aguilar. That kid acts like he's never been on stage before in every production he's in.
Take some lessons from the lovely, beautiful and talented Ms. Mary Claire Garcia. She never makes a fool of herself, she's graceful as hell and she pulls off pastel colors like it's nobody's business. Shermie, for your next role try some Ritalin, and you're welcome.
OMG I got my pictures back from the Glendale Police and not only did they charge $380 a photo, they are also expecting me to pay for all the photos I took, and Tabucky and I took a lot. Who do they think they are, Annie Leibovitz? Over the shoulder! I wrote no on the envelope and sent it back!
I've had crisper and way more original photos taken at the Glendale Galleria. Oh, and they were even in color and I didn't have my eyes closed, rip-off's. Tabucky is mad too. Tabucky's dad is a lawyer. She told me her father is going sue the photo agency.
OMG did you watch the "American" Idol finale? I bet child protective services were on call. Actually, I wonder if David Archuleta is still alive. Only time will tell, I heard it takes a few days for a body to surface from the river. Unless Jeff Archuleta was smart enough to weigh down the body. You did it for him. Yeah, we know, save it for Joe Simpson.
Anthropology professor Victoria Buresch is a freaking saint. Quote me. I have the gift of telepathically receiving "energy vibes" from people's souls, and great news! Ms. Buresch your test results came back positive! I sense this woman is the next Mother Teresa. It's nice to see something good in today's ugly world. I'll drink to that. Amen.
I lied, I have an eating disorder, I can't stop eating those damned maple scones. Oh, and I never really got along with my brother and I'm addicted to prescription drugs. There you have it, oh yeah, and I'm a compulsive liar.
I'm not saying I'm the greatest actor but at least I'm not an overactor, like our very own Jose "Shermie" Aguilar. That kid acts like he's never been on stage before in every production he's in.
Take some lessons from the lovely, beautiful and talented Ms. Mary Claire Garcia. She never makes a fool of herself, she's graceful as hell and she pulls off pastel colors like it's nobody's business. Shermie, for your next role try some Ritalin, and you're welcome.
OMG I got my pictures back from the Glendale Police and not only did they charge $380 a photo, they are also expecting me to pay for all the photos I took, and Tabucky and I took a lot. Who do they think they are, Annie Leibovitz? Over the shoulder! I wrote no on the envelope and sent it back!
I've had crisper and way more original photos taken at the Glendale Galleria. Oh, and they were even in color and I didn't have my eyes closed, rip-off's. Tabucky is mad too. Tabucky's dad is a lawyer. She told me her father is going sue the photo agency.
OMG did you watch the "American" Idol finale? I bet child protective services were on call. Actually, I wonder if David Archuleta is still alive. Only time will tell, I heard it takes a few days for a body to surface from the river. Unless Jeff Archuleta was smart enough to weigh down the body. You did it for him. Yeah, we know, save it for Joe Simpson.
Anthropology professor Victoria Buresch is a freaking saint. Quote me. I have the gift of telepathically receiving "energy vibes" from people's souls, and great news! Ms. Buresch your test results came back positive! I sense this woman is the next Mother Teresa. It's nice to see something good in today's ugly world. I'll drink to that. Amen.
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