2008 Woodie Awards
Daddy, Why Does Miley Have Two Mommies?
Controversy plagues Miley Cyrus, aka Hannah Montana, wherever she goes. In the March 26 issue, we thoroughly explored the issue of Miley Smiley Stuart Destiny Hope Hannah Montana Ray Cyrus' ambiguous identity. Now let's meet the family!
Graig Agop
Issue date: 4/9/08 Section: Column
Get it while it's hot! Last issue we began picking the lock of the Cyrus closet, and in this issue we finally got it open, and it's all coming out! Did you know Miley first took stage as Hannah Montana at the Alex Theatre here in Glendale for season one of Hannah Montana? Well she did; end of story. On to more important topics…like safety!
Miley and her father got criticized for not wearing their seat belts while driving a golf cart in the "Best of Both Worlds 3-D Movie." I am not a safety expert, but I know wearing a seat belt over a chastity belt is just not comfortable.
Her series of Youtube videos titled "The Miley and Mandy Show," with girlfriend Mandy Jirouex, films on location at Miley's wing of the Cyrus house and is amazing! The video "Wakey Wakey" is straight out kinky kinky. These girls are inseparable, and thank God because these videos are cinematic gold. Can you say, "Sundance Independent Film Festival?" Yeah, it's a thong twister.
Enough with Miley, look its Billy Ray and Tish! Let's get them!
Miley refers to gold-digging Laticia "Tish" Finley (Mills McCartney) as her "mom." You will begin to notice that the term "mother" is used very loosely in the Cyrus household. The real winner of this multimillion dollar baby goes to none other than Franklin, Tenn.'s Cindy Smith, a Philip Morris sales rep who got hitched and knocked up by Billy Ray faster then you can say Miley Smiley Stuart Destiny Hope Hannah Montana Ray Cyrus. Although they had a daughter (Miley), Smith allegedly couldn't handle the pressure that came with being married to a "sex symbol," and wanted out. If crazed Billy Ray Cyrus fans torched my hair, I might also want to look into a divorce.
But, according to a Star magazine online article, ("Miley Cyrus' Family Secrets" March 14), "In fall 1991, Tish becomes pregnant with Destiny Hope Cyrus." FALSE! Next they turn Smith from a Philip Morris sales rep to a "22-year-old waitress." Things are shady in Montana, but one thing we can all agree on is Miley didn't come out of that money-driven woman. Come on "Star" Magazine let's get on it!
Miley and her father got criticized for not wearing their seat belts while driving a golf cart in the "Best of Both Worlds 3-D Movie." I am not a safety expert, but I know wearing a seat belt over a chastity belt is just not comfortable.
Her series of Youtube videos titled "The Miley and Mandy Show," with girlfriend Mandy Jirouex, films on location at Miley's wing of the Cyrus house and is amazing! The video "Wakey Wakey" is straight out kinky kinky. These girls are inseparable, and thank God because these videos are cinematic gold. Can you say, "Sundance Independent Film Festival?" Yeah, it's a thong twister.
Enough with Miley, look its Billy Ray and Tish! Let's get them!
Miley refers to gold-digging Laticia "Tish" Finley (Mills McCartney) as her "mom." You will begin to notice that the term "mother" is used very loosely in the Cyrus household. The real winner of this multimillion dollar baby goes to none other than Franklin, Tenn.'s Cindy Smith, a Philip Morris sales rep who got hitched and knocked up by Billy Ray faster then you can say Miley Smiley Stuart Destiny Hope Hannah Montana Ray Cyrus. Although they had a daughter (Miley), Smith allegedly couldn't handle the pressure that came with being married to a "sex symbol," and wanted out. If crazed Billy Ray Cyrus fans torched my hair, I might also want to look into a divorce.
But, according to a Star magazine online article, ("Miley Cyrus' Family Secrets" March 14), "In fall 1991, Tish becomes pregnant with Destiny Hope Cyrus." FALSE! Next they turn Smith from a Philip Morris sales rep to a "22-year-old waitress." Things are shady in Montana, but one thing we can all agree on is Miley didn't come out of that money-driven woman. Come on "Star" Magazine let's get on it!
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 3
PG
posted 4/11/08 @ 7:44 AM PST
What an ignorant, hateful piece of "journalism" you've written here. Cindy and Billy had no children. Tish, who is a wonderful and kind woman, is Miley's birth mother. (Continued…)
Lemonade Diet
posted 4/12/08 @ 3:41 AM PST
I did not know all of this. It sounds like this Hannah Montanna show might be like therapy for Miley. Why do people have to be the next somebody else? I think Miley will be Miley and will be a unique phenomenom just like her family situation is unique. (Continued…)
Graig Agop
posted 4/15/08 @ 5:37 PM PST
Hello "PG", Tish is NOT Destiny Hopes BIRTH mother! That's Beginner Mileyology and i aced that class. I am currently majoring in Miley Cyrus! I have done too much research to get this one wrong. (Continued…)
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